grrrrrrrr
written @ 2004-01-01 - 2:51 a.m.

here's one for the quotebooks:

"jesus can lick my cat."

awesome, greer. just awesome.

new year's picks soon to come.

i didn't mean to spend this much time here
written @ 2003-12-30 - 1:11 a.m.
watching: annie hall

oh my god, i've got so much to write.

so much.

but you know when you have everything to say nothing really seems very appealing to put into story form? especially written story form.

i'm sad because i haven't seen larissa sutherland in one year, and when i did see her on saturday night, we had no chance to have a one-on-one. she's my saviour--my girl-soul-friend-mate--one who understands me like few do. and all she really did that night was sit next to her boyfriend.

and, i thought she was gay. go figure.

eh, i'm used to it by now. one by one, my friends are caught up in their new dating lives. and that's fine. i trek on.

jeremy came over last night to help me install my new home theater system (thanks, mom and dad). it was...weird. that's all i can say. i mean, i was in my bedroom straightening up a little, and he's in my living room hooking up stereo equipment. it just felt so...so...domestic.

i didn't like it.

but then we watched the ben stiller show, and everything returned to normal.

i've got blisters on my fingers
written @ 2003-12-23 - 10:57 p.m.

perhaps the stress of working 7 days in a row at the mall was a contributing factor, but today, i cried.

no no, they were tears of joy. kind of.

lisa calls tonight and says that she has to go to her boyfriend's house, but wants to know if i can hang out tomorrow. i say no, that i have to work in the morning and then i'm driving to my parents'. k, seriously, i haven't seen lisa, my best girl-friend since two weeks ago at her graduation party. she's got a boy now, and it makes me sad that she hangs out with him and not me...typical, right? and, when she told me she was hanging out with him tonight, i knew i wouldn't be available to see her for at least another week...i could feel the urge to cry forming in my throat. and the sadness in her voice didn't help that very much either. so, upon hanging up the phone, i immediately burst into tears. they were sad tears at first, but then i realized something.

and i thanked god that it wasn't just jeremy that i did things like that with.

know what i mean?

i finally found the answer i was looking for. it is about friendship.

it isn't about sex. it isn't about infatuation. i can stop wondering if these things come into play when i feel rejected for a significant other.

i can stop questioning if there was some kind of deviant hidden intentions involved.

all i could do was cry and say thank you to god.

revelations are nice.

baby, you know i love you more.
written @ 2003-12-23 - 2:25 a.m.

01. sore throat.

02. swollen lymph nodes.

03. 8 days in a row at the mall.

04. traditional margaritas.

05. new, cool girl-friends.

06. and there's where ben folds lives.

07. truly.

08. late nights not adding up.

09. real update comes later.

the mills effect
written @ 2003-12-20 - 1:37 p.m.

weirdness at fossil yesterday.

first, manager david and assistant manager jenni got in a fight about her looking under the caselines for a watch for a customer when we're not supposed to do that. it was so bad that david sent jenni home.

then assistant manager emily yelled at keyholder enjoli for doing the same thing jenni did even after emily told her about what happened with jenni. enjoli responded with some remark about emily's boyfriend that didn't make any sense, and there was tension between them the rest of the day.

then random people starting showing up throughout the day. first, jd's ex-girlfriend lashon came in and barely said hi to me. then, i get a phone call from ben moses saying he's in town and that he's going to drop by the mall and see me. and later, april ex-labcoat and verde brian come in just as i'm getting ready to leave. all this is extremely weird because, really, i hardly ever see people i know there. i mean, occassionally i see mark honky there, but that's only because he works at spencer's.

i just said "mark honky." i guess i should've said "johnny pyro."

whatever.

was your mother's vagina jewish?
written @ 2003-12-18 - 1:34 a.m.

not ever ordering a new check card when the ATM destroyed your last one: not good

realizing your tank is on empty after the bank has already closed and you have no access to your account: not good

getting up at 8am the next day when you're used to noon: not good

rushing because you think you're going to be late for work: not good

realizing you have to be at work before the bank opens, once again giving you no access to your account: not good

running out of gas just as you reach exit for opry mills: not good

coasting into the first parking space you can find on hopes and fumes: not good

walking from off broadway to the food court entrance outside in the morning cold without a jacket because you're a retard: not good

manager wendy comes to open the store almost 45 minutes after the mall is scheduled to open: not good

co-worker ashley offers to take you to buy a gas can and a couple gallons of gas after you both get off work: a blessing

the both of you getting off an hour early: rad

upon returning to the mall with full gas can to syphon into your tank, ashley misjudges an area in which to make a u-turn and her beamer gets hopelessly stuck in the mud: not good

jeremy steps away from work and tries to help you pull ashley's car out with his jeep and a chain: good

car is so stuck that the force pulls off jeremy's jeep's bumper attachment with said chain: not good

nice older gentleman driving diesel truck stops and offers further assistance: another blessing

car is finally towed out of the mud after almost two hours and gas is restored to my tank: awesome

later in the evening, party on music row = jager+shiner+margarita+vodka and coke: very good

did my day even out? perhaps. seemed like nothing else could go wrong, but then alcohol made it all right.

spoken like a true...never mind.

i say feable, you say...
written @ 2003-12-16 - 8:09 p.m.

ok, to whomever just gained access to my diary by doing a google search for "women who lick weiners," thank you. thank you for my biggest laugh all day.

doesn't this family know any songs that aren't commercials?
written @ 2003-12-16 - 2:39 p.m.
spinning: feable weiner - "san deem us ready"

i was totally frustrated that i couldn't find any wheat hot dog buns at kroger yesterday. i can't stand white bread. but i had to settle.

yeah, i eat hot dogs. so what?

buy the kosher kind. they're so much better than the normal ones. like, seriously. yum.

i spent $100 at the grocery yesterday. ouch. sometimes living alone isn't as cool as you think.

i'm typing this as the plumber clinks away in the bathroom. his name is george, and he was telling me about how he sat next to nancy griffith at lunch today. then he was surprised that i knew who nancy griffith was.

i surprise a lot of people with what i know sometimes.

and who i know.

so tonight, i dunno. jer said something about coffee, and lisa said something about beers, but oh look, i have $0.32 in my wallet. have pity on me, dear friends, and buy me beverages.

PBR night
written @ 2003-12-14 - 2:07 a.m.
spinning: the wrens - "built in girls"

i just told kevin way more than he probably ever wanted to know about his friend.

i told the "star-spangled banner" story, too.

which, really is only funny to me. and maybe the other person who was there.

coincidentally, that was the same night as the "do you think i'm a slut?" exchange.

cracks me up to this day.

and, for a reason that's completely unrelated, lisa threw up a lot.

yay for college graduation!

a disease, huh?
written @ 2003-12-12 - 2:56 a.m.
spinning: metric - "grow up and blow away"

01. i am naming my first-born son Buster.
02. Buster Keaton Thornburg. great name.
03. tonight i listened to the new blink-182 album. it's really...good.
04. oh come on. if you don't like blink-182, then you take yourself way too seriously.
05. besides, robert smith sings on the record.
06. did i steal this format from you? i'm sorry. i made entry lists before, but reading your style just kind of enhanced it.
07. i met this girl tonight at coco who was talking about how she hated fashion and that "fashion is a disease" (nice bungle quote, i'll give her props for that). but the thing is, she was wearing 80s clothes and bunches of little buttons and thick-rimmed glasses. like, so s-c-e-n-e. it was the most ironic thing i've heard come out of anyone's mouth in a long, long time.
08. jd said he thought bubba ho-tep was "amazing." and that he was "speechless" coming out of the belcourt. and that he hadn't felt that way about a movie since he saw donnie darko for the first time.
09. it was good, but i don't know about all that.
10. bruce campbell was s-e-x-x-y, though.
11. i met him once at a booksigning in knoxville. he told me i had pretty eyes. i asked him to marry me. he said yes.
12. i'm engaged to bruce campbell.
13. be jealous.
14. of him, not me. haha.

funk so illegal you'll have to call a lawyer
written @ 2003-12-11 - 8:27 p.m.
spinning: beck - "little drum machine boy"

01. ohhhh, too much food in my belly. i just ate a big ol' bowl of hamburger helper. i made it without the hamburger, though, so basically it was just pasta with cheese sauce. still pretty tasty. sophie liked it, too.

i think i might throw up, though, from eating too much. or maybe because i'm watching a simple life on FOX.

02. i'm busy waiting on a phone call that probably won't occur. he's late. ugh, northern boys.

03. the chad wants to hang out tonight, so i'll probably do that later. funny now that i've moved to nashville even driving to hickory hollow seems like a chore.

04. should i smoke weed with him? eh, probably not. he's no fun to get high with.

05. i don't mean to be so blunt, but man...all i want to do is have sexx right now. the dreams won't stop, and they're only making it worse.

06. that's why i have a feeling i may go back to him. as pathetic as that sounds.

07. since the move, i can't find my pills, and it's causing me to have an abnormal heartbeat. i liked life with no stress. i need to get back to that.

08. yay for new, cool girl friends. katelyn, i <3 you.

09. ben moses is moving back the first of the year. i'll be excited to see him. i just hope nothing is awkward. so does andy.

10. lisa graduates on saturday. lucky girl. everyone is invited to her party this weekend. don't be square, kids; join us.

11. maybe i'll be a vegetarian again for a while.

12. i want to make a mix cd called "songs of the cowbell." just guess what would be on it.

13. hey ladies, get funky.

14. jamie's last entry makes me want to post a semi-nude picture just for fun. shits and giggles, as the kids say.

15. i hope you know i'm being ironical.

16. so, here.

wow, it almost looks like i have cleavage there. haha, sorry.

yay jamie, and yay boobs!
written @ 2003-12-11 - 2:08 p.m.

in response to mr. tyson:

this is my first reaction; i'll take the time to think about it more in depth later....

was she offended because you were being the typical alpha male type and talking about breasts in a manner that might be appropriate for something along the lines of the man show?

i'm a feminist, no doubt. yet, i am not offended by your entry. i think breasts are great, and they should be celebrated as a key part of womanhood. sure, i hate the exploitation that the entertainment industry has created using the female form. that's a given. women are degrated and dehumanized by the subjectification of the breast. but, displayed in the right, artful way, breasts are a beautiful portrayal of femininity. therefore, i like boobs, too, jamie. heh.

and, yes, i agree that breasts need to be treated with respect, and it warms me that you take that into consideration in intimate encounters with women. i'm glad to know that there are decent men out there to accompany us decent women.

as far as people displaying semi-nude or nude photographs in their internet profiles...well, i guess it depends on the individual and his/her motives on how to judge that. some people might be desperate for attention, and nudie pictures is a definite way to gain such a thing-- negative or positive. then, there's the artsy type who wants simply to expose the public to another level of personal photography. and then, of course, there's the freaks who only want to have cybersex with strangers.

whatever floats your boat, man.

ok, so yeah. personally, i'm not offended. but that's also because i know you, and i know you're not serious about making boob jokes. you know, it's like if one of your non-racist friends tells a racist joke and you know that he/she doesn't really mean it or believe what it stands for.

it's forgivable, is what i'm trying to say.

does it help anything that i'm listening to spinal tap sing "sex farm" right now?--lines like, "i'm gonna go get my pitchfork and poke away in your hay."

sex is funny. it's funny and gross, and i think we should treat it as such.

a fish called selma
written @ 2003-12-11 - 12:34 a.m.
watching: spinal tap

today, at the mall, i met a boy from los angeles who used to record dialogue for the simpsons.

i asked him to marry me.

have a coke and a smile
written @ 2003-12-10 - 2:16 p.m.
spinning: david miller - "if you want it"

01. new home.
02. new things to decorate.
03. new awkwardness with
04. new neighbors gerrick and jeff.

i haven't really spoken to them, but i always feel weird around jeff because he's cynical and pretentious and is april powell's friend.

that whole thing with me and her is still a little weird. but, whatever.

and gerrick...i hope he and lisa work something out with this mess.

anyway.

every time i see a new local band that i end up really loving, i say that they're my new favorite local band. and then i don't go see them again. last night i went to exit/in for billy block's western beat to watch the luxury liners play. man, they were awesome--blew those country singer/songwriters out of the water with their power pop rockitude. yeah, so i've decided that i need to buy more local cds and spread the love to my friends from back home.

i wish i had more to say, but i'm busy right now being really tired, waiting on the plumber to show up, and putting the finishing touches on my new kickass home.

really, it is kickass. i'm not just saying that because i'm excited to be moved out of murfreesboro. it's in a great location, close to work and almost all of my friends. i'm still adjusting to the fact that i live in nashville now, and that i don't have to drive for almost 2 hours every day when i'm doing anything. it's refreshing yet weird at the same time.

now's the time for a roadkill joke
written @ 2003-12-06 - 1:02 p.m.

i let sophie out by herself a little while ago, and what does she return with?

it looked like a big clump of dirt with something hanging off of it...like, part of a shoe or something....

so, i grab it from her, thinking "what the hell is this?" when i realize, "jesus christ, it's a dead squirrel!"

i touched a dead squirrel. not just a dead squirrel, but a decomposing, mud-covered, bacteria-infested, stiff, screaming-faced animal carcass. i washed my hands 16 times.

really, i counted.

ok, she's never done this before. i mean, i guess it's normal for animals to bring such things back into the house since they are carnivores and hunters and all--especially since sophie's got that sled dog in her--but i've had her a year and a half, and this is the first time i've had to deal with a small animal corpse.

they say that since you provide for your pets, feed them and whatnot, that when they bring things like that back to you that they're trying to return the favor. thanks, soph, but i'm not so much of a hillbilly that i'm going to eat a rotten squirrel with stiff claws and bugged out eyes.

and this is where you say, "thanks, lori, for that lovely image. now let me go throw up."

haha, joke's on you, kids. you didn't have to smell the damn thing.

i always knew i belonged in the cash family
written @ 2003-12-05 - 3:12 p.m.
spinning: ben kweller - "commerce, tx"

what's your pirate name?

mine is:
Mad Mary Cash

{Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. You're musical, and you've got a certain style if not flair. You'll do just fine. Arr!]

i need mittens, and i need bedtime
written @ 2003-12-05 - 1:40 a.m.
spinning: buffalo tom - "i'm allowed"

01. you're right, jt, we do need to get plastered together one night soon.

02. bruce campbell + elvis + mental institution + belcourt tomorrow + lori = fun for the whole family.

03. thrift store score today: original early 80s "late night with david letterman" tshirt. i've always wanted one of those.

04. it's really fucking cold in my house. i mean, tennessee's no alaska, but hell damn fart, i wish i had a heater.

05. i'm making a 5+ disc super mix for my friends for christmas. so far, i've compiled over 100 songs for the lists.

06. the application is pending, so maybe i'll be a NashVillian next week.

07. i haven't even begun to pack my house.

08. although 34, pj finn is still one of the most amazing people i've ever known. no wonder he was my pedestal boy for eight years.

09. "portland" is a song by the replacements. check 'em out. i think you'd like them. paul westerberg is in my top 5 male songwriters.

10. coincidentally, the other four are brian wilson, elliott smith, frank zappa, and matt mahaffey.

11. that actually may change tomorrow, though. and maybe change back the next day. you get my drift.

12. lisa, lisa, i miss my lisa. let's have a slumber party saturday.

13. why did i drink a double mocha at 11pm?

14. i should know by now that if i go to jj's market, then i will see ben frank. whenever i run into him, he talks to me so as to be polite, i guess, but he never seems very interested in having a conversation with me. not in person, anyway. if i catch him online, he seems very expressive and somewhat glued into what i have to say. what a stupid, stupid boy. can i borrow a line from rach and say BC?

15. parents this weekend maybe. i need to clean. and pack. pack my A-K.

16. what am i talking about? i'm not ice cube.

17. oh good god.

i'm not a narcissist, no.
written @ 2003-12-04 - 2:10 a.m.
spinning: thrice - "to awake and avenge the dead"

new hair pics!

this is a call to all (my past resignations)
written @ 2003-12-03 - 1:26 p.m.

listen, i'm irrational when i'm upset. i don't think too well when people make me cry...repeatedly.

perhaps if you would try to understand my point of view instead of immediately becoming defensive and hating me, i would avoid certain comments.

but i guess that's what friendship is about, huh? not reasoning about a situation or giving time to cool off after statements are made before cutting into each other again?

i'd do anything for you, and you know it. and that's probably the problem. friendships, like relationships, are all about give and take. i'm giving way more than i'm taking here.

but, tell me, what is so wrong about having high expectations from people? the only time that goes sour is when you meet someone who isn't as driven to that sort of thing as you are.

hmmm.

for that reason alone, i realized quite a long time ago that i didn't want what probably most people thought i wanted out of that friendship.

but, hey, i got over my "2nd best" complex with that whole april and lisa thing from earlier in the year, didn't i? and the reason why is that lisa proved to me that i am an important part of her life no matter what. i know it's silly, but i need reassurance. i think we've been through this before.

god, i don't know. just talk to me sometime, ok? please.

official.
written @ 2003-12-02 - 4:34 p.m.

you don't listen, and you don't care. this is it, number seven.

YOU'RE OUT.

loritron 2.0
written @ 2003-12-02 - 1:54 p.m.
spinning: the unicorns - "sea ghost"

thoughts.

music: jennifer sbragia owns me.
tv: i am currently devising an evil plan to not only steal mo rocca's glasses, but to marry him (my name would be lori rocca. how cool is that?!).
housing: i'm cold. very, very cold.
food: the only thing in my house to eat is turkey. serious. i don't even have bread to make sandwiches.

ok, let's get real.

for three weeks now, i've been taking this anti-anxiety drug called effexor. it's a seratonin-blocker that acts like an anti-depressant. at first i was kind of unsure about it because i guess my body was still getting used to it, but in the last week i've noticed a change. i just don't give a shit about things anymore. like, i mean, i still care about things i need to, but i haven't been dwelling on stupid shit as much. i haven't been preoccupied with the things people have come to expect me to be.

and that whole thing, it's much better for me than it is for you. who's reaping these benefits? lori t.

i left out the ones that go without saying
written @ 2003-11-30 - 11:35 p.m.

favorite bands a to z

A air
B beastie boys
C the cars, the cramps
D dandy warhols
E elastica
F the features, foo fighters, feable weiner
G grandaddy, guided by voices
H helium, husker du
I international noise conspiracy
J jackson 5
K the kostars
L lush
M metric
N the notwist, northstar
O old 97s
P the pixies, pavement, the postal service
Q queens of the stone age
R the replacements, the ramones
S self, the stooges, the softies, superdrag
T travis, ...trail of dead
U urge overkill
V verbena, velvet underground
W wilco
X x
Y yo la tengo
Z the zombies

use my pen knife, my good man
written @ 2003-11-29 - 10:46 a.m.
spinning: the softies - "sleep away your troubles"

two nights ago i had a dream that i was hanging out with joie, mark, willie, and jeremy at the honky house. well, it was the honky house, but it wasn't either...you know how dreams are. anyway, i was helping them design band flyers, and then i left to go to the exit/in because CKY was playing. for some reason, i didn't drive myself even though my car was there, and willie gave me a ride to elliston. i went to the concert and it ruled, but a weird thing was that all the titty girls in the front were drag queens. and everyone kept mistaking me for bam margera's girlfriend. ok, cut to end of concert and i'm freaking out on the street because no one has come to pick me up. i call jeremy, screaming because i'm alone and it's cold, and he gets defensive and tells me to get over it and to come back to the honky house because they're throwing a kickass party. he doesn't seem to understand i have no means of transportation and won't listen when i repeatedly ask for someone to come pick me up. frustrated, i hang up the phone. then there's this little scene where jeremy is talking to girlfriend katy and he says very irately, "lori just hung up on me. the bitch."

and, end of dream.

curtain. thank you.

i can't believe the mets traded darrell strawberry
written @ 2003-11-28 - 11:47 p.m.
spinning: the beatles - "a day in the life"

i hate growing up because you start to realize things about your family that you never put much thought into before.

my dad's parents--my grandparents, of course--are very conservative, wealthy, and materialistic people. and, my entire life, i've had this subconscious knowledge that on that side of the family, i am 2nd best. there are only two grandchildren on that side-- myself and my cousin josh. josh is one year older than me, he's already graduated college, spent the last six months living in australia, just landed a cushy job in d.c., and just bought himself a rad new little audi A4. josh, although adopted, is the pride and joy of the thornburg side of the family--an attractive all-american boy who was on both the honor roll and the soccer team. he's 23 and already has got credentials, and what am i doing? working some crappy retail job during my 2nd senior year of college. anyway, this thanksgiving, josh got to sit at the head of the table.

ok, i'm not jealous. it's kind of laughable to me, really, this favoritism that my grandparents show towards him. but, i mean, i guess it makes sense. he's the clean-cut preppy one, and i'm the one who just cut the right side of her hair off and dyed it platinum blonde while leaving the rest of it long and red.

and, for some reason, my whole life i've thought i fit in better on my dad's side than my mom's. and, in some ways, perhaps i do. but yesterday, i felt much more comfortable with my mom and her family than i did with my dad's. my mom's side just feels more down-to-earth. more...real.

anyway, this was all i had to think about during the 4-hour drive back to the boro last night. it kind of saddened me that my vision of one side of my family kind of tarnished a little, but my ideas about the other was kind of uplifted. and then i thought: is it better just to be young and oblivious?

i wonder what christmas will be like.