call me defeatist
written @ 2003-10-31 - 1:17 a.m.
spinning: screeching weasel - "cool kids"

i need a drink.

oh wait, i just had 4.

after work tonight, i went to local gay bar TRIBE with ross and chrissy. some crispy-haired blonde lesbian hit on me. it was funny.

chrissy's boyfriend broke up with her over the phone literally 5 minutes before they got to the bar. actually, he only called to see if she had read his break-up email from earlier in the day. she hadn't. when will boys learn what conversations merit face-to-face confrontation?? for instance, twice i've been broken up with over instant messenger. boys are retarded.

ok, i just forgot what else i was going to write about. ugh, dammit! i'm going to be a drunk and pass out now.

ohh oh yeah! here it is:
i think what you don't realize is, i don't want to just have casual sex with him. i want to have relationship sex with him. and i know that's not going to happen. so, that's why i don't really feel like trying.

come on down and don't be such a queer-bait
written @ 2003-10-29 - 11:37 p.m.
spinning: ima robot - "dynomite"

01. tattoo is really itchy, but still badass.

02. do you remember a few years ago when dave letterman had heart surgery and there were guest hosts for the late show for a month or so? during that time, the guest hosts pretty much got to pick their guests and do their own little routine, but the one rule was they couldn't touch any of dave's stuff. well, janeane garofalo hosted one of those shows, and her guests were david cross and bob odenkirk, zach galifianakis, and the old 97s. i seriously think that was the best hour of my life. i have that on tape somewhere....

03. for some unknown reason, mtsu has been having some decent concerts lately. normally they only bring acts like the goo goo dolls and the baha men. but last week, of course, i saw the presidents of the united states of america, and tonight comedians jim gaffigan and the above-mentioned zach galifianakis perfomed. first of all, i really forgot how funny jim gaffigan is. secondly, zach galifianakis is in love with me, and we're going to get married and have babies. lots of babies. little zach and lori t babies.


aww, zachy-poo.

04. i don't see what everyone is talking about. kevin's not shy. there are no awkward silences when i talk to him. but perhaps it would be different if i were considered a girl.

05. back in the day, i was a little obsessed with quentin tarantino. in fact, i was so much obsessed with him that i bought paperback copies of the screenplays written for four rooms and from dusk till dawn. i aspired to be a screenwriter. amanda bacon and i tried to write one in 8th grade. i think we got about 10 pages into it and lost interest. coincidentally, in the 10th grade amanda and i were recruited to write a musical for the school to perform. it was me, her, our english teacher, and the choir instructor trying to write this musical about a rich girl and a poor girl who were best friends. kind of like pretty in pink meets stand by me. yeah, that lasted all of about 2 weeks.

anyway, i bring this up because i decided to read the four rooms screenplay again last night. i don't really have a comment on that. i just thought i'd write about it because it's sitting right here in my field of vision, and i don't really have much else to fill this up with. that was a really good movie, i thought. tim roth = amazing and adorable. and the soundtrack was all combustible edison (except for the one johnny cash song in the opening credits), and you know you can't go wrong there.

06. why am i so sleepy? i'm thirsty, too. i feel...parched. is that the word? i don't care. my sweet tea at chili's was totally not enough. and i don't have any drinks here because my refridgerator seems to be broken and won't keep anything cool and things spoil and it's all gross and smelly. i guess i should tell my landlord about that before i move out...or maybe if i don't say anything and just have the electricity cut off no one will notice and the new tennant will just have to deal with it.

man, i'm lazy. no, i just hate talking to my landlord. she's a crazy old lady. like, for real. she has a framed portrait of richard nixon hanging in her foryer.

hey, that seems crazy to me.

07. poor jeremy has an unknown disease from an unknown origin. i feel bad for the guy because he just can't seem to get well. i'd send him a cookie bouquet, but he probably wouldn't be able to eat them....

08. mom called last night and said the doctors found some polyps in my dad's colon. i have no idea what that means. but, they removed them, and are sending them away in order to determine if they are cancerous. those of you who pray, shoot one over my dad's way, wouldja? and those of you who don't...well, have a good time in hell. whoa, hey there, i'm only kidding. jay kay, jay kay.

09. i'll be in my new house either right before thanksgiving or right after it. mom's upset with me because i told her i'm not going to call and have my gas turned back on. which means, i won't have heat. she's concerned because it's "gittin' to be winter-time," and i'm gonna be really cold. but you know, i don't really see the point of going through the hassle of calling the gas company and having them send someone out and paying the connection fee when i'm only going to be here for another month. sure, it'll be cold, but i'm a trooper. i'm tough. i can take it. besides, last year i didn't have heat until december anyway, and yeah, that sucked balls, but at least i know what to prepare for.

10. i am declining to write the next part of what i want to say for fear that the subject may do a little reading he/she shouldn't. but i'll say this: o.m.f.g.i.f.l.j.t.a.h.n.m.h.h.h.! there. now only i will know what that means. ;) hey! let's have a contest. leave me a note or email me with what you think that whole thing stands for, and most creative answer gets...well, i'll think of something. it'll be rad, i promise.

heh, i'm such a damn dork.

i like my drinks strong and my life full of irony
written @ 2003-10-28 - 12:05 p.m.
spinning: tom petty - "refugee"

ok, someone was totally in my house last night or this morning. i know this because both of the locks on my door were locked when i went to take sophie outside this morning. usually i only keep the deadbolt locked, but today the lock on the doorknob was locked as well.

i'm assuming it was someone sent by my landlord, because that's happened before, but it's still totally creepy. they should call first.

i'm gonna miss my apartment because of how rad it is, but damn, i'm totally not going to miss any of that. ross is totally going to be the best landlord ever.

a direct letter to my best friend:
lisa, i don't think you are flaky. if i truly did, then you would not be such a shining star in my life. sure there are times that i may have been disappointed that you decided not to do something, but i am an understanding person and i know that we, as humans, have to be selfish sometimes and take time off to think and regroup or whatever. the "flakiness" i spoke of earlier was really just an isolated incident, and i want you to know that i don't think that about you at all. you're awesome, and i don't want you to go thinking otherwise.

so, i had a court order to attend metro's defensive driving class, "alive at 25," last night. 4 hours sitting in the basement of building 222 downtown. not exactly my idea of fun. but, when i walk in the classroom, who do i see? BOOD! haha, totally cool and random. even though it was overcrowded and i had to go to a different room, it was cool to see him there. my instructor was totally rad and reminded me of bernie mac. seriously. and i met 17-year old hadley hines, who claims she will be the first woman president of the united states. that's what she said, "hi, i'm hadley hines, i'm 17, i go to harpeth hall, i'm going to be the first woman president in 2036--'catch up with hines', everyone--and when i get married, i'm keeping my last name and my husband will take mine." it's nice to have aspirations when you're 17, isn't it? god, the girl is five years younger than me and already has more spunk and motivation than i ever will have. i felt like telling her to call me whenever she's going to harvard law and forming a coke habit.

yeah, i had that, and earlier in the day i had to mail in a fine for a previous speeding ticket i got in cookeville--i was actually scheduled for court on halloween. AND, get this, while i was in traffic school last night, i got a parking ticket for leaving my car in the courthouse lot after 6pm.

talk about i fought the law, man.

ps. new drink to try:

flintstone
1/2 glass of red bull
1/2 shot jagermeister
1/2 shot goldschlager
perform the deed as you would a jagerbomb. tastes like a flinstones vitamin.

no, i haven't seen kill bill yet, so shut up
written @ 2003-10-27 - 2:24 p.m.
spinning: superdrag - "bloody hell"

in the car just now, i started crying.

WRVU was playing "tears in the holston river" by johnny cash. if you're not familiar with the song, it was written about the deaths of mother mabelle carter and her sister-in-law sarah carter, honoring the two lady songwriters.

lately i've been feeling a lot of unexpected hometown pride (thank you, les honky), and the references to the homeland and the holston river in the song coupled along with johnny's recent death and the simple beauty of the song and it's subject just...set something loose.

it was a good cry, you know? the kind that makes you feel alive and happy to be so. not the i'm-a-failure-and-i'm-losing-everyone-close-to-me-emo kind i've been used to of late.

no plans for halloween yet. i've been invited to several things, but i think i'm just gonna pass on most of them. i don't want to go to the icon party. i don't want to go to the muse. i don't want to go to the sutler. i don't want to stay in murfreesboro.

ugh, i don't even have a costume yet. we did have an idea the other night, though, that ross would be gladys knight, and lisa and i would dress up as the pips. we'd just walk around singing "midnight train to georgia" all night.

man, that song never gets old. and neither does "groove is in the heart."

(insert slide whistle here.)

i'm too tired to think about donnie darko right now
written @ 2003-10-26 - 11:06 p.m.
spinning: the network - "transistors gone wild"

mom called today and asked me to wish my dad luck on his surgery tomorrow.

what?

no one in my family ever tells me anything. but i guess i don't tell them much either. hey, you normal people--what is it like to have a family that actually communicates with each other? what is it like to enjoy a holiday? what is it like to give each other hugs and not feel weird about it? what is it like to feel like an actual family and not just relatives?

i can't say that i ever knew those things.

***

run, ronnie, run = greatest movie ever. no lies. the only thing that would have made it better is if janeane garofalo had been in it somewhere. just a small part. but, i guess that might have been expected, and perhaps that's why they didn't have her in it. or maybe she was just busy.

dude, i totally have this picture that bob, david, janeane, jon stewart, ben stiller, JB, and andy dick hang out every night at their nerdy comedian emo house. they all just sit around watching "i love the 80s," getting high, and playing "college football 2003" and "mario golf" all night.

that's my heaven, man: to be in that gang.

tonight i was summoned to accompany a friend to a concert to make the atmosphere feel less like a date. i like feeling needed. even if it does have a slight "used" aftertaste.

(i totally didn't mean that to sound derogatory. it's really not something i'm upset about.)

anyway, i couldn't get in because i didn't have cash, and municipal auditorium doesn't accept credit cards. oh well. no tears.

tattoo is healing quite nicely. the ink from the green star keeps oozing out, which is kind of gross. it hasn't started peeling yet, but i expect that anytime. and, it hasn't been altogether too itchy, but i expect that, too.

wow, i sound like a seasoned veteran, huh? i'll probably end up with sleeves. *sigh*

***

you know...it's like...whenever i lose touch with one friend, i strengthen a bond with another. and then i lose touch with that friend, and the bond i have with the other one gets stronger. it's a cycle, it seems. i wonder if this is coincidence. but i don't like it. i don't like not feeling close. i want everyone to know, that each of my friends is a very important part of my life. and i only hope they can say the same about me.

anyway, yeah, i know it's only been a week, but i miss...what the hell do i miss? i mean, really? i miss feeling like i'm not wanted? i miss feeling unwelcome? i miss feeling unentertaining? i miss feeling boring?

apparently.

never mind. i'm being "girly" and "over-dramatic" about something that is "not important" and "wouldn't matter" if i were a "guy friend."

don't tell me, tell me, what i already know--

this constant constellation
written @ 2003-10-26 - 1:16 a.m.
spinning: "pictures at an exhibition"

that's the tattoo that i got yesterday. it's the constellation orion on my right forearm.

tattoos are supposed to tell stories. this new one, i'm especially excited about it because it's the first one i've gotten that actually has a meaning. it's the first one i've gotten that i've actually thought about prior to getting it done.

orion is my favorite constellation. that might originally have come from the fact that he's one of the very few i can actually recognize. but, i've heard that some people have special relationships with the moon. when i'm alone at night, and the stars are out, and i've got something on my mind, orion is always my "go to" guy. not the man in the moon. maybe because he's the hunter i feel like he's a strong enough figure that he'll be able to offer some very well-thought-out advice. anyway, i've done this for quite a long time.

there's an ani difranco lyric that says, "i see orion and say nothing." that's always stuck with me. i think that ani and i could possibly be on the same wavelength there.

i see orion and say nothing
written @ 2003-10-25 - 3:30 a.m.
spining: rufus wainwright - "cigarettes and chocolate milk"

who got a new tattoo today? yeah, that's right, me!

i wanted to call him, but i also didn't want...to interrupt...anything....

why can't people just call ME so that i don't feel so damned insecure and intruding?

that's why guy friends suck. they don't understand that.

jamie asked me if i was going to 311. first thought: probably not because i'm not a big fan of theirs. second thought: i wasn't invited.

i'm never invited. i always have to do the inviting.

sorry, i sound whiney. how bout i talk about something a little more selfless?

poor andy mason was supposed to be in new york city tonight. but he lost his bag in the atlanta airport and decided just to come home. poor guy was walking through a crowded subway area and the bag just slipped off his shoulder without him noticing. most of his clothes and shoes were in there, too. gone. all gone. it totally sucks because i know how much andy was looking forward to this trip (he's never been to new york), and i also know how much in need of a vacation he was. he seems confident he'll try to go again soon, though.

so lisa and i made him brownies. mmmm.

pop USA
written @ 2003-10-23 - 11:40 p.m.
spinning: letters to cleo - "demon rock"

today = really really good.

the first part of it was pretty boring, as i woke up at 12:30 and did NOTHING up until about 4pm. one of my friends online reminded me that the presidents of the united states of america were playing at mtsu tonight, so i asked kevin if he'd like to go because, given his other musical tastes (i mean absolutely no offense there), i thought he'd enjoy something like that. so, he said he'd like to come, and i went to buy us tickets in the KUC.

around 6 or so, kevin calls and says that jamie is going to come, too, and jon, and jerry. alright, cool. but, since i don't remember how large tucker theater is, i'm worried that it might sell out. so, out of the goodness of my heart, i volunteer to go to the box office at the theater when the doors open and buy the guys tickets in time for them to have had dinner and drive to the boro. but wait! i spent my last ten bucks on mine and kevin's tickets. and i haven't made it around to getting a new ATM card, either. crap. what do i do?

i went to kroger and bought some brownie mix for tomorrow and wrote my check over $20 to get cash back. good thinking, lori. :)

anyway, i picked up chinese food on my way home, and sophie and i really enjoyed some lo mein and eggrolls.

i met the boys at tucker theater just as de novo dahl was finishing their set. the guys next to us looked like a mix of nu metal kids and frat boys, and they kept remarking about how much de novo dahl sucked. yeah, i will admit i was a bit puzzled as to why they were chosen to open for PUSA, but whatever, i think they're good. as a matter of fact, i will just go ahead and say that they ARE good.

(note: every time i see jerry, i crack up on the inside because a) choda and b) i swear, i met him 3 years ago at buddhist temple when i went there with delilah and george one time. they kept telling me, "you've got to meet jerry! he's the coolest kid ever--the best drummer. and he's jerry reed's grandson!" don't get me wrong, they were absolutely right about jerry, but ugh, i'm so glad i don't hang out with those two anymore.

note on the note: if you don't know who jerry reed is, you haven't watched smokey and the bandit enough.)

the presidents put on a great show: smoke, theatrics, audience participation, references to urge overkill and AC/DC. in the middle of (i think it was) "dune buggy," they broke down into "baby, you're a rich man." i totally felt like i was 13 again.

drummer jason finn is a cutie. he looked so happy and adorable, and he was wearing a little tobaggan...i could've put him in my pocket and taken him home.

on my way home, i stopped and got an RC cola from davis market. yumm. rumor has it that davis market is the unofficial center of the universe. i don't really believe that.

i wish i had something of some real depth to talk about. i was a little bit depressed earlier today, but i think it was only because i wasn't doing anything but sitting around listening to sad songs by the replacements. know what i want before i die? the 'mats and the pixies to play a show together. is that too much to ask? probably.

by the way, i heard from an inside source (who has frank black's cell phone number) that the pixies reunion is a bunch of bullshit.

hey, this has been killing me all night: "sitting around, drinking coffee, and talking about nirvana"--what's that from? first one to tell me gets one of the brownies i'm making tomorrow.

outside the theater, we were talking, and then jamie goes, "hey, is that joie todd?!" upon which my head immediately jerks up, and my eyes cease to focus on my shoes, and i realize, "wow, i really do have it bad for him." oh yeah, last night, too, courtney wanted ice cream, and she was like, "hey, we should see if joie todd is working. i have the number to bobbie's in my cell phone." my first thought was, "hmm, that's odd...why would courtney have the number to bobbie's dairy dip in her cell phone?" and then she started dialing it, and i froze up completely, aside from biting my fingernails trying to muffle my nervous laugh. she talked to him for a few minutes, and turns out bobbie's was already closed, so we didn't get to go. god, how old am i? twelve? what has gotten into me that i get so weird when not even me, but someone next to me is talking to him on the phone even? why do i like him so much? there's so many reasons why i shouldn't. but i guess that's the main reason why i do.

look at this:

i want that for my new bedroom that will be painted ORANGE (yes, go vols! heh.). i wish self would play here again soon. it's about time for a hometown show. they haven't been back since the release of gizmodgery, and that was three years ago. i miss the annual halloween bashes. man, that was back in the day. it was always self, the katies, and the features. oh my, how things have changed.

(inserting current IM conversation that entirely distracted me and caused a great deal of confusion, proving that i should just suck it up and go to bed.)

tastylimefreeze: i just saw the presidents of the united states of america
rafe heltsley: i could have just seen Chingy and the Ying Yang Twins
rafe heltsley: where at? nashville?
tastylimefreeze: at mtsu
rafe heltsley: cool. you see how lame our campus concert was
tastylimefreeze: i'm going to see zach galifianakis next week at mtsu
rafe heltsley: why do you guys get cool stuff and we get shit?
tastylimefreeze:really, it's a rare occassion that cool things happen at mtsu
rafe heltsley: im just upset about chingy
tastylimefreeze: why? what's wrong with him?
rafe heltsley: i dont like that kinda hip hop
tastylimefreeze: what?
rafe heltsley: its like the most dumbed down music possible
tastylimefreeze: fill in some blanks for me, kid
rafe heltsley: i'm a big fan of good hip hop
rafe heltsley: run dmc, del tha funkee homosapien
tastylimefreeze: the siamese twins perform hip hop?
rafe heltsley: but chingy and the ying yang twins SUCK
tastylimefreeze: what the fuck am i thinking about?
tastylimefreeze: i thought you went to see chang and yang
tastylimefreeze:the famous siamese twins
tastylimefreeze: i'm retarded

courtney krampf approved my hair. that means i am cool.

i am cool, dammit!

ok, now that my mental processes have just completely broken down...i should stop writing.

man, this is the worst entry ever.

if being alone is a crime, then i'm serving forever
written @ 2003-10-23 - 4:59 p.m.

Portland.

Shared a cigarette for breakfast
Shared an airplane ride for lunch
Sitting between a ghost and a walking bowl of punch
Can you take a little hunch?
They intend to delay our landing
And I predict we�ll have a drink
Lost my money on the first hand
Got burned on a big, fat king
And your ears just want to ring

It�s too late to turn back
Here we go
Move to Portland

There with the raindrops
Look out before you catch cold
The servant boy gets you nothing
But at least he�s going home

Just living like a backwoods junkie
Caught down in a southern trust
Look at that silly monkey
With silver in his cuffs
And even your silver turns to rust
In your second-hand clothes
Trust no one, I suppose

It�s too late to turn back
Here we go
Move to Portland

Shared a cigarette for breakfast
Shared a pack of lies for lunch
The Credit Card Almighty
And you owe me on a hunch
And your eyes just want to close
There�s nothing changing, I suppose

It�s too late to turn back
Here we go
Move to Portland

i'll tell you later
written @ 2003-10-23 - 2:30 a.m.
spinning: r.e.m. - "pretty persuasion"

WE OPEN ON:

INT. 2700 B-ROAD, JD'S ROOM--NIGHT

Six 20-somethings are gathered around JD's bed and Megatron. We hear the new Outkast video playing in the background. Three of them are talking on the bed, and a girl, Lori, pulls out her digital camera. Lori is wearing a black sweater and has just recently cut off the entire right side of her hair.

LORI
Hey dudes, look at these pictures we took earlier eating ice cream outside of Springwater.

BOOD (a boy)
Whoa, yeah!

Lori hands camera to Bood who begins scrolling through the photos. They all look at the camera and laugh, especially at the shots from APT109 parties.

BOOD (stopping at picture of slutty-looking club girl booty dancing with real emo boys)
Hey, there's Heather...who're those guys? Why were they dancing like that?

BLAKE (grudgingly)
'Cuz she's a dirty whore.
(turns to Lori, pats her on the shoulder, and whispers)
I'm sorry, Lori.

FADE OUT.

only me, her, blake and one other person in the world knows the double meaning of that statement. and, as if i didn't feel guilty enough already about that whole thing.

something that occurred as a drunken novelty has quickly become one of my main sources of depression. i just hope...he doesn't think that...about...me.

*sigh*

***

time for trivia fun!

in "$pringfield (or, how i learned to stop worrying and love legalized gambling)," we learn that when homer and barney were on "the gong show," they got more gongs than who?

a. the nasal flute marching band
b. the break-dancing robot that caught on fire
c. the crying mime
d. mildred and her trained hippos

answer comes tomorrow!

needle in the hay
written @ 2003-10-22 - 12:19 p.m.

i don't know what to say. i really do not.

i guess it's not altogether surprising, but god damn, what a fucking bummer.

i remember a few years ago, watching him on the academy awards because he was nominated for the songs he wrote that were in good will hunting. it was so amazing to see him then, on that stage, performing alongside people like elton john and randy newman--this tiny unknown artist from kill rock stars up against these heavyweights of the music industry. of course, i don't know how nervous he was, but that must have been so incredibly intimidating. alone, ion a stage, in front of thousands of hollywood's finest. not to mention, how many fucking people watch the academy awards? like, all of america. and i was so proud of him. so proud of him.

one thing though, elliott, i'm glad i got to see you....holy shit. i kept the flyer from that show. check the date.

three years ago today, exactly.

but, on a light-hearted note, here's an email i sent to pj the day after i saw elliott play in knoxville:

i'm going to be selfish and not ask you how you're doing or how the gig is going. so what i am going to tell you about is my engagement to mr. elliott smith. yes, yes, it was a long wait, but he finally proposed the other night in knoxville. it was so sweet and so romantic, we had a candle lit dinner at the riverside tavern--i had the salmon, he had lamb--and as we were waiting for the check, he took my hand and stared intensely into my eyes and asked me to be his wife. at first i thought, "how could i marry this man, the king of mopey boys? i cannot fall trapped in this pattern for the rest of my life...." but then, of course i said yes. it's going to be a june wedding, i think. you know, give him enough time to finish up tour and all. plus the flowers will be in bloom. lovely.

and pj's reply:

Dear Mrs. Smith,

I am writing to tell you that I both love your husband's music, and your tasty apple pies.

I am a 31 year old male, living on the island of Martha's Vineyard. I am I DJ but my station does not play Mr. Smith's music. Perhaps when his audience goes a little more grey.

I'd ask you to send me an autograph, but I do not have an address as of yet. For now, I am living in a very nice hotel that has 60 channels of cable and the Simpsons come on 3 times a day.

Have you ever been to Martha's Vineyard? It's quite lovely and the weather here has been beautiful. Sunny and 60 degrees every day. Perfect for walking on the beaches or strolling through the downtowns.

I am hungry so I must finish the missive, but I wanted to say that I hope you are as happy as your husband is sad.

(can you see why i was in love with pj for 8 years?)

a new boy every day
written @ 2003-10-22 - 1:22 a.m.
spinning: cky - "attached at the hip"

so...i'm kinda stoned...and i kinda want to cut my hair...and i kinda want it to be uneven...like 80s asymmetrical...but i don't wanna...mess anything up...cause what i have right now is really badass....

i think i'll do it anyway, here in a little while.

also, don't laugh. i think i've finally decided what to be for halloween--i want to dress up as atom weiner. chux and tux, man. it'd be really easy. plus we have the same haircut. well, right now we do.

ross took me by our new house a couple hours ago. it's on lawndale drive, off of thompson lane (why have i not noticed until now that the abbreviations for "drive" and "doctor" are both "dr." ? that's weird.) it's white brick, and it needs some shutters and some shrubbery, but it's really cute. there's a fenced-in area in the back (almost half an acre lot) for the dogs to play in. i haven't seen the inside yet, but i'm sure it will all work out quite nicely.

all we're waiting for now is word that the place is 100% structurally sound, and we're good to go.

today i also met eric at red rose. that's all i really feel comfortable saying about that right now.

but anyway, i have a lot of gossip. and i'd love to share it with YOU, sweet reader, but i've just noticed that people can google search into this thing, so i'm a bit leery of that these days. but i'm really not so much of a snob that i'm gonna lock up my diary, no matter how personal it is.

*no offense to those of you with locked diaries*...well, except one.

movin' on up
written @ 2003-10-21 - 1:07 p.m.
spinning: of montreal - "spoonful of sugar"

finally, officially.

within one month i will no longer be a resident of murfreesboro, tennessee.

ross left me a message this morning telling me to start gathering boxes. the woman in the house off of briley parkway (i don't know the exact address yet) accepted his offer, and we're good to go.

sophie and i are very excited.

although, i don't think my mother is too excited about me moving in with a gay man.

eh, whatever.

babysitter's club
written @ 2003-10-19 - 9:38 p.m.
spinning: the beatles - "rocky raccoon"

there. that wasn't so bad, now was it? not like you expected?

really, i've chilled out a lot about certain things. maybe not completely, but a lot.

and i'll be happy to show you.

***

ok, here's why i am now officially the creepiest girl in america.

last night i stayed with lisa because she was babysitting and needed the company while the kids were asleep. the family lives in this swanky house in belle meade, so i spent the night over there. this morning, lisa had to go to work, and that left me with a couple of hours to kill before i had to be at work. so, i just drove around nashville exploring, going places i've never been in order to familiarize myself with the city a little more since hopefully i'll be moving soon. so, i see white bridge road, and i remember jeremy telling me that's jamie's neighborhood, and then from there, i see charlotte pike and i remember jeremy telling me...

oh my god, there's bobbie's dairy dip!!!

hi, i'm a stalker.

but i love him. hard. i've had little crushes here and there this year (the mikes, the bens), but i haven't had this hardcore of a crush in quite a while. i mean, it's the kind of crush that reminds of you 7th grade because you start practicing signing your first name with his last name. it's the kind of crush that makes you want to write his initials in the sand and draw hearts around them. it's the kind of crush that makes you only think of him when you go to sleep at night. congratulations, joie todd, you pulled me out of my funk.

even though he does wear cut-off blue jean shorts and wears a baseball cap on backwards. even though he does have a reputation as being a manwhore. even though he is 27 years old. even though he is from my hometown of kingsport. even though he was her original crush #7. i can't get him...out of my head.