don't bother trying to explain, angel, i know exactly what goes on when you're on
written @ 2003-10-17 - 2:53 a.m.

i just returned home and threw up the 2 miller high lifes i drank earlier this evening. yeah, i said 2.

all i will say is, it's not because i'm drunk.

messiah, indeed.
written @ 2003-10-16 - 5:26 p.m.

joie todd is right. we all need to stay far, far away from this...this...internet.

i wish i could delete my profile. cause i totally would. i'm tired of people wanting to know me because of what i like, not what i AM like. it's shallow.

we are all shallow.

lick it up, baby. lick. it. up.
written @ 2003-10-16 - 2:12 p.m.

STAB STAB STAB!

I HATE "THOSE GIRLS." I HATE THEM. THEY'RE FORWARD, THEY GET UNDESERVED ATTENTION, AND IT MAKES ME FURIOUS.

TONIGHT WILL SUCK. THIS WEEKEND WILL SUCK.

(YES, THIS ENTRY MERITED ALL CAPS.)

hey, it really is a paper moon
written @ 2003-10-15 - 11:24 a.m.
spinning: jackson 5 "i want you back"

ok, i seriously have the most bizarre and random dreams known to man.

i dreamed i was in the movie total recall. i do not know why, for i haven't seen that movie in, like, 6 years.

i never really understood it that much to begin with. if they really did intend for howser to come back to mars and lead cohagen to kuato, then why take such a huge risk that quaid would want to go to recall in the first place?

god, is this really what i have to write about today? lame.

on a side note, though, is it now a proven fact that if you were in the movie predator, that you will eventually become the governor of a state? cause i really want the guy who also played apollo creed to be my governor.

i dream of a future where only celebrities will run for office.

ok, let's get serious, shall we?

i didn't 100% drop out of college. when i withdrew, i kept one class for the sole purpose that i wouldn't have to reapply in the spring. i was afraid of having to do that, and, well, i don't think my personal essay would be as good this time as it was in 1999. i've lost a lot of the spark and motivation i had then. anyway, today, in that one class, i have a midterm. i'm debating on going to take it. now, it probably would be a good idea to go, just take it, and see what happens. but the thing is, i haven't been to class in a month, i haven't done any of the reading, and i have no idea what the test is over. and it's a political theory class, so it's just a bunch of philosophy that i could probably bullshit, but i just don't feel comfortable when i have absolutely no base of the material. i just don't see the point. so, i probably won't go. but i have until 3 o'clock today to decide.

man, i am so not looking forward to any of the "talks" that i'm going to be having in the next few days. i really hope that, for my mental well-being, that i'm blowing things out of proportion as usual. i'm worried that i'll have something to worry about. sometimes i wish that i could just not care. or, more importantly, that i could care about myself as much as i care about other people. and i wish i could genuinely see that i'm not a failure or a disappointment or a reject.

wow, didn't mean to get all mopey there.

goblet of rock
written @ 2003-10-15 - 2:41 a.m.

ughhhh...there's a screwdriver jabbed into my skull, i swear. god, why does my head hurt so badly? i'm dying, slowly, one pulsing, throbbing jolt of pain disguised as a heartbeat at a time....

on the plus side, however, lori t's greatest discovery of the day: red bull tastes completely different without the accompaniment of jagermeister. i've never had it plain. pretty tasty.

yeah, ok, so meeting kevin tonight was...weird. i wanted to laugh a lot, but because i'm polite, i didn't. it's just so bizarre to me that we're friends now. i don't know why exactly. it's almost a novelty. i'm sure that feeling will go away soon, though. i hope. anyway, the movie kicked ass.

hey, do you think if jack black met me, he'd fall in love with me? i do.

the jig is up, the news is out
written @ 2003-10-14 - 4:14 p.m.
spinning: yankees/sox...whoo hoo!

hahaha, the onion is really funny this week. this is my favorite:

"Girlfriend Dumped After Forwarding Stupid Link

GREAT FALLS, MT�Amanda Manis was dumped Monday after forwarding boyfriend Anthony Madrid a link for the humor web site LunaticLobsters.com. iI was convinced that I had found my soulmate, my kindred spirit, the woman I could grow old with,' Madrid said. 'Then, out of nowhere, Mandy e-mails me this stupid link. When I saw those Flash-animation cartoons, I knew it was over.' Madrid has previously dumped girlfriends for owning roller blades, buying Vegemite, and watching Craig Kilborn."

gold.

two days in a row, i've been to campus. too bad i couldn't ever make it there when i was actually supposed to.

i met lisa at the photo lab, and we had la siesta for lunch. she told me a secret, and i told her a secret, and i felt glad to have someone to tell secrets to.

today's weather is perfect. i love in october after it rains and the wind blows, shaking the trees. everything is so crisp, and you know it's fall.

october. wind. leaves. world series. i'm watching the ALCS right now, and my darling red sox are being beaten by new york. oh wait, manny ramirez just hit a homerun. take that, david wells! haha! eh, they're still losing.

the green monster. i need to go to fenway before my life is over. or they tear it down.

i took sophie for a walk around the neighborhood a little while ago, and we walked past denis' house. he and a couple of his friends were sitting outside. it's always weird when i see him; i wonder if he feels it, too. that's a complicated story.

*sigh*

kevin and i are going to a movie tonight. i think we're going to see school of rock. i hope people don't think anything they shouldn't about that.

speaking of which, everytime i talk to ross, it's "so, what's up with...?" you know. ugh. and i'm supposed to live with this man someday.

and, further on the living situation-situation, rachel and i found the best house yesterday in east nashville while driving around looking for nitwit. it's hot pink. h o t p i n k. 1627 long ave. for sale. got. to. have. it.

i have a new jacket.
written @ 2003-10-13 - 10:25 p.m.
spinning: ben lee "how to survive a broken heart"

that cost $83.

i'm a sucker.

but, i don't care. cause i'm a sucker with a rad fucking puma jacket.

take that, mtsu!

down.
written @ 2003-10-12 - 8:40 p.m.
welcome to the silence...more emo than emo.

i just dropped out of college.

i am now not only in the category of people who have been fired, but also of losers who don't go to school.

i need someone...please.

you said this song was lame, and i said, "so is your face!"
written @ 2003-10-11 - 3:16 a.m.

best night in a long time.

getting ready at laura's...best picture ever taken.

jd and andy, as THE D.

the carter administration is awesome because they have song titles like, "math is hard" and "tomorrow's whiskey today." here's todd, their drummer. he's adorable.

outside the boro, waiting for FW.

the dreamy mike healy and his new FW tatoo.

chuck club.

atom weiner, oh how we love you.

that was awesome.

it's funny because it used to be true
written @ 2003-10-10 - 7:28 p.m.

Soroity Slut
You're Soroity Slut Barbie! You're easy and you're
really cheesy! Have fun with the entire
football team.



If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla

yaaaaay, weiners!
written @ 2003-10-10 - 1:11 p.m.
spinning: burning brides - "arctic snow"

so, i watched this movie last night at the belcourt theatre. it's called southlander. if you want to read about it, go here.

i don't really recommend you watch it. i mean, it has its cool parts, and, well, there are some very cool people in it (beck, hank III, even elliott smith pops up for, like, 2 seconds). but i would say i got absolutely nothing from watching this movie. my life has not improved one bit.

director steven hanft just needs to stick with the music videos. really, that's all the film was--a 2-hour long beck video.

i freaked out after the movie was over, though, because i couldn't find my keys. my first thought, of course, was that i locked them in my car, so i went to look, and it was so dark that i couldn't see inside. that would've totally sucked ass because the only spare key i have is in my house, and i couldn't get into my house because i didn't have that key either. so, i went back to the theatre to see if maybe they had a flashlight i could borrow, and turns out they had my keys behind their counter. *relief* i don't think it would have been so bad if i wasn't by myself at the time.

yes, i go to movies by myself. and may i just add, i was the only person in that theatre. god bless independent film.

***

ok, court was totally right. laws rushing is effing s-e-x-x-y when he sings. that band rocked my socks off. and, i didn't know it, but i know his bass player. his name is steve, and i spent the night with him once. he told me he was in a band, but i didn't know which one. funny to see him; funnier not to talk to him.

***

my dream last night had 3 distinct parts.

01. i took my dog, sophie, home to my parents' house, and while i was out walking her, she just disappeared. after spending hours looking for her, i finally went home, and oddly, my parents' old dog lucky was there (lucky has been dead for years). so, i'm all distraught, and my parents were like, "it's ok, you can have lucky and take care of him instead." then, i got all whiney like, "no, i want sophie! hmmph!" sophie never came back, but i remember "talking" to god and saying, "ok, you need to bring sophie back to me, and i don't want any of that pet semetary bullshit!"

02. in a hotel room with jeremy and some random russian girl. that's all i care to say about that.

03. working at fossil, and the mall caught on fire. jd was there, and we were trapped in the storage room. i guess the most quality time you can spend with a person is when you're both about to die.

***

tonight is feable weiner at the boro. the carter administration is also playing, which is really exciting. i haven't seen them since early this year when lisa, jer, and i went to the end. that was such a long time ago. but i'm looking forward to tonight.

no need for a subject
written @ 2003-10-09 - 3:17 a.m.
spinning: spoon - "believing is art"

i think that all the sleep i've been getting lately and the ease of falling into it i've been having has finally caught up with me. tonight, no dice. and it's not even like i have a lot of things on my mind preventing me from sleeping. i. just. can't. do. it.

monday night after PAPA M, i went straight to bed around 12:30am. slept soundly through 9am. woke up for about five minutes, took medicine, fell back asleep and didn't wake up until two in the afternoon. and i even took a one-and-a-half hour nap at 6pm on tuesday. today was about the same, except my afternoon nap was interrupted by my shift at fossil that i totally forgot about.

i've been off-and-on asleep for the last couple of hours, after i got off the phone with old favorite mike dewitt. remember him? he's the one i was supposed to go out with a couple months ago after he and his girlfriend broke up, but he got sick on the day we decided to go out and has been stalling with that ever since.

jd's middle name is dewitt. jonathan dewitt jacobs.

i talk about boys a lot, don't i?

too much?

maybe?

pretty girls make graves was awesome last night. spending time with lisa was awesome last night. i'm just realizing right now that that was the first time i went out for a beer with her in public since she turned 21. she, for some reason, ordered a guiness, which i find funny because all she normally drinks and is used to is PBR. jeremy had to finish it for her. they make me nervous when they're together. i know it's their "schtick," but i really think there's a certain element of truth in the "do you hate me?" thing.

i know you don't know what i'm talking about. do i do that a lot? talk about things that you, reader, have no clue about? it's so weird to me, this online diary. like, it's my diary, my way of expressing how i feel about the occurrances in my day-to-day. but, i have an audience. if i were writing in my actual real-life journal, i'd be talking to myself. but this thing...i'm addressing not only someone, but a group of someones. that's so...weird. an open letter addressed to no one in particular.

and i've become so weirdly dependent on it. so weirdly eager to have feedback from strangers.

how much of this do you think i'm making up to look cool?

that's not a rhetorical question.

quadcali (poli sci majors represent!)
written @ 2003-10-08 - 11:48 p.m.
spinning: dressy bessy - "this may hurt (a little)"

poor chris schneider who has to live in a state with arnold schwarzenneger as its new governing body. all i can say is, at least he can't run for president one day cause he doesn't have natural citizenship. eh, what do governors do, anyway? i know phil bredesen doesn't do anything.

this afternoon, i was taking my sick-nap as i have been for the last couple of days since i've acquired this head cold/sinus infection/larengitis/pain in the ass/whatever illness. about 5:15, my phone rings:

"lori, this is david from fossil...are you coming in today?"

whoops. i totally was supposed to be at work at 5 o'clock. so, i got up, threw some clothes on, called andy and canceled our dinner plans, and booked it to opry mills. i was in a daze the whole time i was there.

my drawer came up $40 short tonight, too. i have no clue why. in the past, i might have been a suspect, but i've quit doing things like that. i promise. plus, i actually care about this company and this job, unlike say, american nazi-esque greetings.

i'm just bummed because i was really looking forward to cooking for them. i was gonna make chicken and dumplins. mmm, boy.

oh well. tomorrow will be good. i'm going to see this movie, and then going to the end to see laws rushing, the high strung, and the brian jonestown massacre. very exciting. and i have word that my future husband joie todd will be there....*wink*

aw, you know i'm jus' playin' :)

simpsons, part deux
written @ 2003-10-07 - 3:44 p.m.
spinning: bristish sea power- "apologies to insect life"

top 10 simpsons episodes that didn't make the other list

01. radio bart. for his 10th birthday, bart receives a radio microphone that he uses to play practical jokes. one of the pranks is bart posing as timmy o'toole, a boy who has allegedly fallen down a well. sting guest stars and sings the classic, "we're sending our love down the well."

02. bart the lover. bart tricks mrs. krabapple into thinking he is her soulmate by answering the lonely teacher's personal ad. bart's alias is "woodrow," a smooth-talking gordie howe look-alike.

(note: i was just thinking, it is mrs. krabapple, right? not ms. krabapple? is she divorced?)

03. a streetcar named marge. marge takes part in a musical verson of "a streetcar named desire," with ned flanders costarring as stanley. features the voice of jon lovitz as the director.

04. itchy and scratchy: the movie. when bart fails to keeps an eye on maggie and puts her life in danger, homer finally puts his foot down on bart's mischief by passing the ultimate punishment: bart can never see the itchy and scratchy movie.

05. mr. plow. homer buys a snowplow and starts his own business (for, like, the 30th time. you'd think that homer would have given up entrepreneurship altogether by now.). but, competition arises when barney starts up his own plowing service, the plow king. both linda ronstadt and adam west guest star. what more could you want?

06. cape feare. i love the episodes involving sideshow bob. they're so...dramatic. definitely my favorite character. in this oh-so direct parody of the scorsese film, bob escapes from prison and vows revenge on bart for sending him there.

07. the boy who knew too much. bart plays hooky and witnesses a waiter being brutally beaten. mayor quimby's nephew is blamed, and only bart can save him--but that would mean he'd have to come clean about skipping class. highlight of the episode: principal skinner as the terminator.

08. bart vs. australia. the government of australia isn't impressed with bart's prank phone call and demands he come apologize in person. highlight: bart at the american embassy mooning the australians. "don't tread on me," indeed.

(note: is homer's income at the plant really enough for them to be able to go to places like australia or japan every year? there's 5 of them. that's gotta get expensive.)

09. home sweet homediddily-dum-doodily. bart, lisa, and maggie are placed in the care of the flanders family after homer and marge are found to be unfit parents. now, homer and marge must prove to the authorities that they are fit parents before the kids become too flanders-like. highlight: maggie with sign reading, "i'm a stupid baby." one child worker to the other: "the stupid babies are the ones who need the most attention."

10. realty bites. when marge becomes a real estate agent, her firm loses lucrative sales due to her total honesty.

no surprises, please
written @ 2003-10-06 - 12:25 p.m.
spinning: northstar - "rigged and ready"

all of my friends are going to radiohead tonight in atlanta. yes, all of them. even people who aren't my friends, but i kind of know them--they're all going, too. let's take a count.

01. jd
02. andy
03. courtney
04. bood (i think)
05. jeremy
06. mark d
07. nathan
08. kelby
09. will
10. chad
11. natasha
12. zach
13. brian
14. carl
15. not me.

nathan has an extra ticket. i thought about it. but my other grandmother would have to die for me to be able to call in to work. part of me is thinking, "why stop lying now, girl? you're on a roll."

so, i think i'll just go to exit/in tonight by myself and see paz.

i went to school this morning. i've got to go back to campus in a little while. i don't know why i skip so much. going to class is the easiest thing to do in the world; and, really, it's not like i don't enjoy it. i'm just such a lazy fuck. i'll skip a couple times, and then i get into a groove--neal chalwa disease, some may call it. i was thinking this morning...all that last night, all that crying and confusion...it's not really that i am unhappy with school. i'm unhappy with the way i treat school. i'm disappointed in myself and my attitude. i freak out and have emotional breakdowns because i don't know how to pull myself out of the mess i've caused. there's an easy way to prevent that, i know. but i don't know if i'm the kind of person to always do things the easy way.

kevin said last night, "the best way to learn about someone is through conflict." how very true. but i also think that applies to learning about yourself. i can definitely see that in this, my 5th year at middle tennessee state university.

***

i talked to two boys named ben last night. one of them i formerly had feelings for, and the other i lied to myself in order to have feelings for. neither worked out. one of them i still care very deeply about, the other just gives me the cold shoulder at 12th & porter.

baby's got the bens, indeed.

lies make baby jesus cry
written @ 2003-10-05 - 7:29 p.m.
spinning: click click click click click

oh. so. much.

last wednesday, my aunt ruth died. this didn't affect me very much, as i wasn't very close to her. but, her funeral happened to be on the same night as the metric/broken social scene show. i was scheduled to work.

and since i absolutely could not miss this show (listen to metric, and you'll know why), i did a little bit of white lying and boom! i had the night off.

here's the kick, though. when i went into fossil and told them, i said "aunt." but what they heard was "grandmother." and, for some unknown reason, i didn't correct them.

yes, i do feel guilty about this. and the fact that "everybody does it" doesn't exactly make me feel better. is it a big deal? i don't know. but i do know that my grandmother is in fact alive and well, and i've probably cursed her with my lies, lies, lies.

***

"thursday is the only day i'm looking forward to...cause thursday is the only day that on my way i run into you...." thursday me and the skirts went to infernobar to see the features, aka, the best band in the whole entire world. kevin also came out, which was entirely random and surprising, but also very much fun. it was the first time i've met him. he's one of jeremy's friends, so i've heard a lot about him, and being bored one afternoon on friendster left me a little curious. so, i sent the kid a message. and he replied. and i invited him to the show. and he came (keep in mind, it's ok--and completely un-nerdy or embarrassing--that i met kevin on the internet because 1) we met on friendster, and that's hip and trendy and acceptable and 2) he's jeremy's friend anyway, so it was likely that at some point our paths were going to cross anyway). up until this point, everything i'd heard about kevin was that he was very shy and easily intimidated by people he doesn't know. meeting him left me pondering what jeremy was talking about all this time.

thursday night i also met rachel, which was really, really nice. i love opportunities to meet new, cool girls. honestly, i've found there's not that many of them out there. it's so very refreshing to meet girls who aren't silly and obnoxious.

***

brings me to something else. those girls. i hate those girls. you know what i'm talking about: girls who are hopelessly adorable, girls who are endlessly affectionate, girls who drive all boys to liking them and then just end up breaking their poor little boy hearts. girls who make girls like me seem nameless and faceless. am i jealous? yeah, that's part of it. those girls take the male-adoration attention away from chill girls like me. which i guess kind of, in turn, makes me a psuedo-one-of-those- girls...a wannabe one-of-those-girls. but, those girls, they're the ones who make boys mopey; they're the ones who are responsible for inspiring every john cusack movie ever.

ah, but i guess the nameless, faceless girls--the guys' best friends, shall we say--we're the constants. we're the ones they come crying to when one-of-those-girls does doughnuts in the front yards of their hearts and souls. *sigh* i guess that's good. but, i dunno. i'm not completely sure i want to be typecast as the lily taylor character in say anything for the rest of my life.

***

metric kicks so much ass. friday, instead of my "grandmother's funeral" (d'oh), JCP and i went to 12th&P only to be blown away by the best thing to come out of canada since...well...ok, the kids in the hall were from canada. and that was, like, 1990, right? ok, best thing from canada in 20 years: metric. here's lead singer emily haines.

here's jeremy at 12&P looking very max fisher-like and 16...but adorable as usual.

i just think jer was nervous because he decided to propose to the aforementioned emily h. that night. but, the poor guy was only left doing tequila shots with me at the end of the night. ouch. sorry, jer.

***

i just emailed my professors, lying to them about why i haven't been in class. truth is, kids, i haven't been to school in weeks. i. am. not. proud. of. that. i do this every semester, scheme my way out of bad grades, and it leaves me feeling so...yes, guilty. guilt, guilt, guilt. i am seriously the most irresponsible person i know, and it's quickly growing worse. i'm so sick of going to school. i've been doing it for 5 years. i'm done. i'm done. i quit.

of course, i can't quit. i've put too much time into it. my parents have put too much faith and money into me. i'd disappoint them and myself. i'd be forced to realize my worst, darkest fear: that i am as big of a failure that i secretly think i am.

so, i still slack. i lie. i plot. i scheme. i muddle through. i don't know when it will end.

does anyone have any special motivation berries that i can munch on?

***

ugh, i really have so much more to say. i planned to say it all. but i've come to the point, after writing this entry off and on for hours, being distracted by this and that, that i am feeling absolutely illiterate.

i'll end by saying this is not a happy day. i woke up early, i worked late. i have a cold. i witnessed drama in another household. i have jiminy cricket kicking me in the ass. i'm...

tired.

just another tequila headache
written @ 2003-10-03 - 2:03 a.m.
spinning: mr. bungle "quote unquote"

i don't feel like reading anything. and i don't feel like writing anything. although, i have tons to write about.

it'll be a few days. i'll let you know.

BUT

kevin is swell boy. i'm glad he came out.

and rach rules more than she knows.

casey counts 'em down
written @ 2003-10-02 - 2:28 p.m.
spinning: pretty girls make graves "if you hate your friends, then you're not alone"


[MOODS]:

[happy]: rudie can�t fail � the clash
[sad]: answering machine � the replacements
[angry]: hollywood squares � dillenger escape plan
[utterly depressed]: the violet hour � the clientele
[<3 broken]: because � elliott smith
[lonely]: no surprises - radiohead
[mellow]: range life - pavement

[SCENARIOS]:

[on a date]: what�s a date?
[sex]: national anthem � radiohead (sometimes when i�m drunk, i mistakenly call it �star spangled banner�)
["chillin" by the pool]: summertime � the sundays
[raining]: playground love - air
[wedding]: vivaldi
[funeral]: fairytale of new york � the pogues
[first boyfriend]: 1979 � smashing pumpkins
[your ideal relationship]: no lies, just love � bright eyes

[WHAT YOU THINK OF]:

[crush]: kate � ben folds five (i wish there was a song about a boy that had the same sensibilities)

[close friends]:
april: move your feet � junior senior
lisa: i walk the line � johnny cash
jd: nothing better � the postal service
pj: one angry dwarf and 200 solemn faces � ben folds five
larissa: outta me onto you � ani difranco
jeremy: stars � hum
jeff: memories are made of this � dean martin

[enemy]: cute without the e � taking back sunday
[ex]: youre so last summer - taking back sunday
[mom]: wabash cannonball � flatt and scruggs
[dad]: the night they drove old dixie down � the band
[siblings]: negative.
[future]: sparkle and fade � everclear (ok, that was more likely my answer when i was 15, but i�m paying homage to that)
[past]: don�t look back in anger - oasis
[present]: in between days � the cure
[a song that reminds you of a friendship]: crimson and clover � joan jett
[home]: song of the south � alabama(*shudder*)
[self]: ordinaire - self

i should get paid for this shit
written @ 2003-10-02 - 2:39 a.m.
spinning: the stills "still in love song"

here's how funny i am.

tastylimefreeze: how very polite of you
KGP311: my mother taught me well. but nothing about internet manners.
KGP311: I learned that on the streets
tastylimefreeze: the streets toughen you up
KGP311: it's funny, they actually made me nicer
KGP311: go figure
tastylimefreeze: you were in the anal retentive gang
KGP311: haha
KGP311: you're a quick one

then, later....

imlessthan3: you have an effing awesome middle name
imlessthan3: i would totally go by that
tastylimefreeze: thanks
tastylimefreeze: sometimes, when i meet new people, that's how i introduce myself. then, someone i know comes along and calls me lori, and ruins it all
imlessthan3: hahaha damn the man
tastylimefreeze: f'real, yo.

and even later, still....

tastylimefreeze: nothing's really changed. still working at fossil, still going to school, still going on bad dates
imaradiostar: hmmmm
imaradiostar: bad dates
imaradiostar: like in Indiana jones?
tastylimefreeze: if only
tastylimefreeze: no time for love, dr. jones
imaradiostar: heheheh

"you don't start off sex by cumming"
written @ 2003-10-01 - 1:18 a.m.
spinning: wilco - "a shot in the arm"

phhhhhhheeeeeewwwwwwww.

the last couple of days have felt like a weekend. except i didn't do any alcohol drinking.

yesterday i drove to my parents' house in kingsport (that's about 300 miles from where i live). they were excited to see me--and the dog--and i was excited to eat junk food and watch cable. i swear, that's all i do when i go home. little debbie cakes and the adventures of pete and pete. killer.

met courtney in johnson city where art was playing, and we watched the show from the front row. the house was packed, which was kind of surprising since it was monday night and a small town in tennessee (art came out and the first thing he said onstage was, "johnson city, tennessee? where the hell is that?"), but the more i thought about it, the more it made sense because being such a small town (even though it's a college town), the only rock bands the kids in the area were really exposed to growing up were ones like everclear or green day. trust me, i know. i was one of them (until that fateful day i discovered WABN...but that's a complete other story). anyway, so yeah, j.c. <3's everclear. the band and the beverage, too, i guess.

this was the first time i had seen art play, and you know, the dude puts on a really good show. he, of course, played mostly everclear stuff (i mean, it's all he's been writing for the last 12 years), and invited several people onstage with him during the course of the set to do various things like play the key-tar (you know what that is, right? a keyboard that straps onto you like a guitar), sing back-up, or rock out on air guitar. at one point, he invited 3 couples onstage, and the girls sat on stools while the boys gave them lapdances. it was all pretty funny stuff. i had a great time.

afterwards, court and i hung out with art, his road manager, derrick, and the opening act whose name was michael jay (i secretly called him michael jay fox, cause, well, he was pretty foxy). art is totally cool. totally. not intimidating at all. derrick was pretty cool, too, and i think he was a little sweet on me cause he kept hinting for me to come back to the hotel with them. i had to decline, though, because i was staying with my parents. court had to leave because she had to drive all the way back to nashville so she could be at work this morning. poor girl. i'm sure she was a zombie today.

i went back to the 'port, ate some more junk food, watched some more cable, and discovered the joys of liquid hydrocodone (mom had some in the form of cough syrup). man, that stuff takes effect in, like, 4 minutes...which i guess makes sense since it's liquid. not to sound like a prescription medicine junkie, but man, i love me some painkillers.

woke up early to have breakfast with my parents, and low and behold, one of my cavity fillings just comes right out. so, i have to make an emergency appointment with my hometown dentist, dr. butcher (yeah, i love the name, too). call me crazy, but i really enjoy going to the dentist. and mine, he's the nicest old man. i'm gonna be really sad when he retires.

but, i think the novocaine shot went to my brain. when i came home, i immediately went back to bed and passed out, not waking up until almost 3 in the afternoon. i was groggy for the rest of the day, too. i even took a nap after dinner.

so, today is going down on my list of best days ever. i hung out with a rock star, got my tooth fixed, ate la carreta for lunch, saw my grandmother, ate pal's for dinner, and, to top it off, i got $125.

and more props for being in my hometown for 2 days and not seeing a single person i went to high school with. heh, that reminds me of one more thing: at the show, courtney was looking at the crowd and said, "man, johnson city is trash!" i agreed, and told her that's how all of the tri-cities is--the thugish frat boys, the girls who have 8 facial piercings and wear too much eyeliner, and the just plain white trash. to that, court replied, "well, i'm glad you turned out ok."

a big smile for courtney krampf. :D

pics

here's court at gatsby's

here's art at gatsby's

i'd like to have one of us with art, but i didn't get many pictures because i didn't want to be "that girl," you know.

and this has nothing to do with anything, but here's my new devo shirt (really, i just wanted to give you a shot of my non-existent boobs...the shirt says, "devo--uncontrollable urge")

goodnight.

not like tommy lee
written @ 2003-09-29 - 11:59 a.m.

me, explaining to my mom what i'm doing tonight:

"ok, my friend courtney...she knows this guy who's in this band...wait, let me back up. courtney's dad, he's a producer, and their family is pretty well-known...anyway, courtney's friends with this guy in a rock band and he's playing in johnson city tomorrow night. i doubt you'd know the band, but they were pretty popular in the mid-90s--"

mom: "what band?"

me: "uh, they're called everclear. anyway, courtney's going to the show, and she invited me, and i'm gonna come home for it...i mean, he's cool and nice, and doesn't do drugs or anything...not like a rock star-rock star...not like tommy lee or anything..."

not to mention he's, like, 40 and will probably try to have a threesome with us.

so yeah, court and art tonight. the show is at gatsby's, which i think is hilarious. i've never seen a show there, but it's my favorite j.c. bar because of how it looks inside. it's so cool, the actual bar was taken from an old bar from the '20s. everything about it is old and brown and rich-looking. it's beautiful.

so, i gotta get on the ball, i gotta get going. 4-hour drive, kids. and i'm venturing into the eastern time zone. oooooh, scary.

ps. this period of liking jd, over. it'll come back in about 3 months when he does something stupidly clever and boyish and makes me adore him. but, for now, couldn't care less.

if ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a wonderful christmas
written @ 2003-09-28 - 11:11 p.m.
spinning: ryan adams "tennessee sucks (in the summer)"

did you know...that corey feldman was in the toxic avenger, part 4? he was indeed. and he was credited as "kinky finkelstein." oh troma, what would we do without you?

we're having corey night at APT109, where we're gonna watch haim/feldman movies. i'm doing a bit of research to find out what movies to rent, and i ran across that little above fact and was...well, not surprised.

feldman was also donatello's voice in teenage mutant ninja turtles 3, played corey "kip" cleaver in 1983's obvious hit series still the beaver (probably would've gotten more ratings if it had been called steal the beaver, heh), and starred alongside an ironic casting of young drew barrymore in the classic 1989 TV anti-drug movie, 15 and getting straight.

corey haim...well, he's canadian. that's all i have to say about his career.

BUT yes, it's true; the two made a few fantastic movies together. come on, the lost boys? dream a little dream? license to drive?

ok, maybe not that last one so much.

Democrats
Circle I Limbo

Oakland Raider Fans
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Hipsters
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Libertarians
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Scientologists
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

people who drive in the passing lane but do not pass
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Republicans
Circle VII Burning Sands

people who wear sunglasses indoors
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

i'm tired today. store meetings are pointless, but they give you free donuts. i have hickeys on both sides of my neck. i hate my neighbor. i will see my parents tomorrow, as well as a real-life rock star. i turned my air conditioner off for the first time since summer ended. it's very cold in my house. i missed northstar. i saw lost in translation. fair trade?

it's lucky 11:11pm, and i'm going to bed.

nothing gold can stay
written @ 2003-09-26 - 2:52 p.m.

hi, i'm lori, and these are my boyfriends.

ok yeah, not really. like rob lowe is good enough for me...pssssh.

jesus christ, that's a nice hat
written @ 2003-09-26 - 3:54 a.m.
spinning: hopesfall "the bending"

j e r c p e n n: so joie got a haircut
j e r c p e n n: and i asked him where
j e r c p e n n: he said "courtney did it"
j e r c p e n n: i'm like, uh... courtney who?
tastylimefreeze: ha
j e r c p e n n: "courtney at salon ya ya"
tastylimefreeze: no shit
tastylimefreeze: i bet he knows her dad
j e r c p e n n: she's even cut his hair at her dad's house before
j e r c p e n n: exactly
j e r c p e n n: hows that for weird
tastylimefreeze: oh, man
j e r c p e n n: this world is like 2 square miles big, i swear

so, courtney knows joie todd. the man is a myth, a legend. i think i...well, we'll see about that later.

i am lonely today. i want to be held. i want my hair to be petted and my forehead to be kissed. i want to be embraced and told that i am loved. depression doesn't usually set in for me, but today...well, it just hasn't been good.

don't worry. i'm not depressed. not really. plenty of things make me happy, every day. but, when i don't come into contact with another human being for more than a day (e.g., yesterday and today), i get a little...i dunno...anxious? neurotic? paranoid? fearful? this is what living alone does to you.

i'm not even supposed to be here today!
written @ 2003-09-25 - 9:04 p.m.
spinning: the softies "favorite shade of blue"

my dog is so weird.

every day when i take my bubble bath, sophie stands beside the tub, whining. she tries to jump up and eat the bubbles.

then she starts barking, and i splash her, so she jumps up even more, and it's all very cute.

well, ok, so you know how i was supposed to have this whole weekend off to go to atlanta? first it started with the store meeting on sunday, causing me to not be able to go. now i have to work on saturday, too. i'm pissed. let me tell you why.

a few days ago, dan came back from being in new york for a photo shoot with bo. almost immediately after he was back in nashville, he had to travel home to michigan unexpectedly because his grandmother died. but, he's back now, after the funeral. so, today, fossil calls me and asks if i can pick up dan's shift on saturday because he's had a death in the family and has to tend to that.

ok, i'm sorry your grandmother died, dan. but, you're very lucky i didn't rat you out to our boss.

i bet he wanted to get out of work to go to atlanta. fucker. and, if i'm wrong, may i burn in hell, but it all seems like a big coincidence, no?

so, now, officially, saturday = lori "throwing the finger at fossil and dan ode" drunk night. watch out.

apathy rules. fuck everyone.
written @ 2003-09-25 - 4:47 p.m.
spinning: radiohead -- that song with the handclaps that i don't know the name of

i just filled out the longest, most ridiculous survey that was emailed to me this morning. 434 things. ugh, tiring. i'd post it here, but it'd take up way too much room. so, if you want it, you're gonna have to ask.

today's a depressing day, for no real reason. i'm supposed to go see laws rushing tonight, but i don't think i will. first off, i'm broke. secondly, i want to stay in bed all night. thirdly, lisa usually flakes out on me with stuff like that anyway, and i don't want to go to the boro by myself.

but, whatever.

hebrew national bible
written @ 2003-09-25 - 2:24 a.m.
spinning: the who - behind blue eyes

chad invited me to atlanta to see interpol and elefant. even though the ticket would be free, i'm not going. i'm not a huge interpol fan, and besides, i can't stomach the idea of spending 3 hours in the car with chad each way. i can only take him in small doses, once every week and a half or so.

and ok, i'll start saying no. i need to. i know i do. it's just become so...expected.

i can't go to atlanta on saturday to see northstar like i planned. i asked for the weekend off, but i didn't get it because stupid manager scheduled a mandatory store meeting at 8:30 sunday morning 8:30. sunday. morning.. i'm pissed, but i'm gonna try not to let it ruin my weekend.

i'll make up for it, though, by meeting courtney in johnson city on monday to hang with her and art. he's playing there for some reason (i can't imagine where...i mean, it's johnson city. i know everclear isn't going to be playing the down home.). so yeah, court invited me to come hang out with them again, and i guess i need to see my parents for a little while, too.

anyone who hasn't seen the trailer for school of rock needs to do so here.